Insert 33

Sands: After dropping off Lindo at her crib, a lot was going through my mind. Firstly, I was battling with the thoughts of me falling for her, it can’t be happening. I refuse to fall for her, this was just supposed to be a smash and move on to greater things in life. She’s starting to make me weak and I hate that. (Phone ringing) Who could be calling me at this time? I looked at the Caller ID and I was surprised to say the least. Me:” Yeah.” Zee:” His a cheater…” I could tell that she was weeping on the other side but why is she calling me when she could be calling her friends? Me:” What?” Zee:” My dad, his cheating…” I figured… But I was not about to say that to her. Me:” Oh…” Zee:” And now he and mom are getting a divorce…” Okay this is getting boring, I love this girl but she told me to focus on my girl and I did. Now she’s calling telling me about her life problems. What game is she playing? Me:” Zee why did you call me?” Zee:” Uhm… I needed someone to talk to and I thought of you…” Me:” No, you can’t do that Zee. When I called in the wee hours of this morning you told me to call my girl and here you are calling me at freaken 23h15 pm. What if I was making out with my girl and you’re busy calling at this time? Don’t call me, ever!” I hung up before she could even respond. I felt really bad for doing that to her but I had to. If I want things to workout with Lindo, I have to play far from Zee. We’re already having problems because of her and with Kea in the mix, I don’t want to add fuel to the fire.

Zee: When mom and I got home, she retreated to her room and I could hear her crying. I wanted to be there for her but she refused to let me in. She is really heart broken, my dad took what’s left of her dignity and she’s probably second guessing herself seeing that dad has gone for a younger female. Calling Sandile was the biggest mistake I did, what was I thinking calling him vele? He didn’t have to be that rude though. I just keep losing people that I consider friends, and all of them feel like I’m self-absorbed. * * * The week went by pretty quick, and it was now Friday after school and I was making my way to the tailor. I was picking up dress for the Ball tonight. Amo and I have gotten pretty close in the past 3 days of planning for the ball. Vibing with my friends on the other hand has been challenging, with every effort I put in, Kea was there to make me look like a bad person and selfish. She managed to drive a wedge between me and Lindo. She doesn’t trust me anymore, we do talk because we are civil like that but we don’t share that much about our private lives. She is of the impression that I want Sandile, I have reassured her though, numerous times that I have no feelings for him whatsoever but she still chose to believe Kea over me. Things are pretty much awkward between us but we are still friends, and yes, we all still chill together during break.

I met up with mom at the tailor’s shop, she was still a mess. I’m getting tired of her crying every night, yes her husband cheated on her countless times but she chose to stay even when she realized that the love was not there anymore. I don’t mean to be insensitive but she needs to pick herself up and live her life.

Mom:” Hey honey, sorry I couldn’t pick you up from school.” She was wearing a full on Adidas tracksuit, she never leaves the house wearing a tracksuit or even track-pants, never! And here she was going against her very nature. I can never understand what’s she’s going through, but she and I need to have a serious talk. Me:” It’s okay mom, you are paying for my dress after all. The least I can do is meet you half way.” Mom:” I thought you said that you were going to help with footing the bill?” Me:” And I stand by my words.” We walked in and waited for the lady, her name is Dorothy but I call her Aunt Dorothy. Dorothy:” Nazo-ke.” She walked in holding my dress. All I can say is that, it is the way I had envisioned it. Amo and I are going to look dapper tonight. Me:” Thank you Aunt Dorothy. You sure did an excellent job considering the amount of time you had.” I grinned. Mom:” Siyabonga Ma.” She smiled. Dorothy:” Ku bonga mina ngane yami.” We took the dress, paid and left.

Me:” Can I take you out before I go prepare for the Ball?” Her:” Honey, I don’t want to impose on your time.” Me:” It’s not an imposition, I just want us to talk. We won’t be long I promise.” Her:” O-kay I guess… Where to?” Me:” Parrots?” Her:” No Zee we can’t go there, you know going To Parrots means chilling there for hours on end.” Me:” Okay, what do you suggest then?” Her:” Let’s go home, I’ll prepare something to eat. We don’t want to ruin your appetite before the Ball even starts.” Me:” Promise you’ll listen to what I have to say?” Her:” I promise.”

Within 20 minutes we were at the house. I took everything to my room and went back to the kitchen. I sat on the bar stool and just looked at her, she was preparing the pots and everything else that she’s was going to need to prepare a scrumptious meal. Mom always cooks delicious meals. They say that the way to a man heart is through his stomach right? Well whoever said that was clearly talking about their own experiences because with mom, she did everything by the book. She cooked for her husband, every day and not just your simple meals, she made sure that dad ate home. If my memory serves me well, dad has never missed a meal but look where mom is today. Surely she hit a wrong turn trying to reach my dad’s heart and it was definitely not through his stomach. Her:” So what is it that you want us to chat about?” She brought me back to reality. Looking at her looking at me broke me, I mean she looked broken. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was hurting and I think being in this house reminds her of dad, I guess that’s why she cries almost every night. Me:” Uhm (Clears throat) yes, mom I love you and please don’t see this as me disrespecting you or meddling in your business. I care about you and I don’t want to see you like this. I want my mom back.” She looked down and wiped away the tears that had already graced her cheeks. Me:” Please don’t cry mom, you’ve cried more than enough. We live in a cruel world, yes, but whenever we hit rock bottom, we have nowhere else to go but up. I know dad hurt you, more than once and I made life difficult for you when I always showed him love but expressed sheer hatred towards you. If only I knew back then what I know now, things would’ve been different. Mom, dad doesn’t deserve your tears. You mother, are Superwoman and dad doesn’t define who you are. This might be the end of a chapter in your life but that’s what it is, a chapter not an entire book. Pick yourself up, please… your book has many blank pages waiting for you to start being the author of your life, so make use of them. Life is a journey, we all get to experience it in many different ways but through that journey we get to understand the true meaning of life. I know it hurts but that hurt will fade away, you’re responsible for your own happiness. It’s time to move on, it’s no use holding on. You want to cry? Fine, cry. Cry all you want but tonight better be the last time you cry for that man.”

After I said my piece, she looked at me with shocked written all over her face. She wept in silence, she wanted to say something but she couldn’t. I walked up to her and hugged her, she hugged me back and cried even harder. I whispered:” I truly believe it’s a gift to have tears flow down your cheeks… The gift of tears is similarly an experience of God’s grace (Sally Leroy)” I pulled away from the hug, kissed her on the forehead and went to my room to get ready for the Ball.