Insert 20

I had fallen asleep when my phone rang, it was Sands letting me know that his outside. I wore my gown since I couldn’t wear anything tight. I can’t wait until I get these bandages off. I went downstairs, told my dad that my friend has arrived and that I’ll be back as soon as possible. He just nodded and told me to be safe. I limped my way out of the house to where Sands had parked his car, he was sitting inside waiting for me since it was dark and a bit cold. He got out as soon as he saw me and ran up to me. Him:” My goodness love, I didn’t want to believe you.” He looked shocked. Me:” Here I am not feeling well.” I looked down. He pulled me in for a hug. Me:” Not too tight, the wounds are still fresh.” Him:” Of course.” We hug for a while before I pulled away, I had tears in my eyes and I just felt loved by him though his never said it. There way he cares about me, it’s unexplainable. I don’t want to fall for him because I don’t know what his true intentions are, for all I know he just wants to hit it and then move on to the next one. For now, I’ll just enjoy being friends with him until he proposes a relationship. I don’t want to jinx anything. Him:” Want to chill in the car for a while? I bought your KFC.” Me:” Of course, thank you.” He helped me get into the car, my body was pretty sore so it made it hard for me to do things for myself at the moment. He went to his side and gave me my KFC, I dug in right away. He played Lil Wayne’s Carter four album, my favourite and we just jammed to it. Him:” So what happened? You look pretty bad.” Me:” You don’t want to know the half of it. Problems at home man, problems at home.” Him:” Your mom really beat you like this?” Me:” Hard to believe hey? I still can’t believe it myself but here I am with bandages and all.” Him:” I’m sorry Zee.” Me:” It is okay man, I’ll get over it and when I’ve healed I’ll cover up the scars with a few tattoos.” Him:” School?” Me:” After 4 weeks, I’m definitely going to miss out but I’ll get someone to update me. Pity we don’t do the same subjects.” Him:" Yeah, eish."

We changed the subject and spoke about how the concert went, Amo hosted with another chick named Keabetswe, she’s okay, pretty and down to earth, I can see myself becoming friends with her now that I alienated mine. After eating I offered to pay him back but as always, he refused. He had to head on home since he had homework to do, I didn’t want him to leave but I was not about to be selfish and hold him back from focusing on his books. He promised to come see me tomorrow, gave me a kiss on the cheek and got into the car and drove off. I limped back to the house and just sat in the kitchen and browsed through my phone. “Honey, can we talk?” (Sigh…) To this point in my life, never have I ever been so defeated by anything. I could feel myself sinking into a deep dark place and there was no way of me getting out. I’m torn to pieces, no one can ever understand my pain and I’m not going to justify my mom’s actions, if she’s going through something then she should talk about it, violence was never an answer to anything. Me:” Sure, it’s your house after all.” I said faintly. Her:” I’m really sorry Zara and I’d like for us to start talking more. We need to unite and be strong together. I know what I did is unforgivable but please, find it in your heart or anywhere if not your heart to forgive me.” Her eyes were red, looked like she was crying. Me:” Please give me time, this whole thing is fresh to me and I cannot just get over it just over night. It’s going to take time, however, I’m willing to consider forgiving you.” Her:” That’s all ask for dear.” Me:” Why did you do it?” I looked at her straight in the eyes. I needed to hear it from her. She needs to tell me why she did it. Her:” (Deep breathe) Honey, can we talk about this some other time, it’s late and I’d really love for you to get some rest.” She walked away. I guess she’s not ready to open up to me but I will not push her, I can’t afford to get anymore beatings than I already have. I drank my pills and went to my room, my phone rang as I was about to get into bed, I answered on the second ring. It’s was Tebo. Me:” Hey there…” Him:” And then you disappear on me again?” Me:” I’m sorry, actually I disappeared from the face of the earth for 24 hrs.” Him:” I see, you okay though? Tried calling yesterday but your phone was off.” Me:” Yeah, I’m okay just a bit under the weather but nothing medicine can’t fix. You good?” Him:” I’ll be alright, I missed you today. Thought you were hosting at the concert? I really looked forward to it but I realized you weren’t at school.” Me:” I thought I was as well but I woke up in hospital so I couldn’t make it. Sorry to disappoint.” Him:” Hospital? What? Are you okay?” Me:” I’ll be fine, it’s nothing big. I fell down the stairs and bumped my head, but otherwise I’ll be fine.” I was not about to tell the entire nation about what my mom did. I can’t be out here ruining her reputation like that, yes, I hate her at this current moment but I will not do her like that. I trust Sands but I don’t know if I can trust Tebo, his just an acquaintance, that's all. Him:” You sure?” Me:” Yes, I am. Look I need to go. Thanks for checking up on me.” Him:” Sleep tight Zee, a speedy recovery to you. Call you tomorrow?” Me:” Yeah sure, goodnight Tebo.”

I hung up, I dreaded for that conversation to go any longer. I just don’t want people asking me all sorts of questions about this whole thing. Thank goodness I am not going to school for the next 4 weeks or else I was going to be everyone’s topic at school. (Message alert) I looked at who it was and it was Sands, you know every time his name pops up on my screen I just smile. He brings out the best in me, any way the message read:

It was sad seeing you like that, I promise to make your recovery a moment to remember. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I care about you Zee and I want nothing with you. Have a goodnight and know that I’m thinking about you.

That message alone gave me butterflies in the stomach. Where is he playing at though? I replied:

Thank you Sands, it really means a lot. And please don’t tell anyone about the beating. I trust that my secret is safe with you. Have a goodnight Mr Hlathi. *smiles*

He really made my night. I got into bed and slowly drifted off to sleep.